Generalizations of American Culture

If I were an Anthropologist, and wanted to see the best/worst of what humanity has to offer, I think I would go no further than a bar. Especially the ones here in Richmond. I mean honestly, how does such a thriving cultural center go overlooked by these scientists?

There are certain things that you can focus on in order to focus on mankind in general:

1. the "Bro"s
Look for these guys by their overuse of cheap cologne and flipped polo collars. They'll almost always order a Coors light and insist that it's one of the best beers America has to offer (Seriously?!). After a few of their beers and continuous shots of cheap liquor, they'll commence to do more homoerotic things to their guy friends as a joke. However, it more than often comes off a sort of closet homosexual ritual. In Richmond, these creeps usually tend to travel over 10 miles with ten of their friends from their cheaper apartment in the West End to come here in order to pick up their biggest fantasy: the art-chick.

2. The Art-chick
The main target for people that come to a Richmond bar, that don't live here. These women primarily give the I-don't-care attitude. They'll smoke cigarettes (preferable Camels) in the corners and may allow another guy hit on them if the air is right. However, don't be smug about their casual nature. They all have some sort of odd thing going on in their life, whether it be that they're habitual heroin users or they have a cookie jar collection back at their apartment. I'm so glad I snagged Liz before she went this route!

3. The Scenesters
These are the guys that I hang with mostly. You can find them by their overlarge Chrome messenger bags and their high cut dickey's jeans/converted shorts. The will almost certainly drink PBR (Pabst blue RICHMOND!) and bring up the three no-nos in drinking conversations:
a.Religion
b.politics
c. insert any random/possibly hurtful generalization
However, most are good-natured and have a quiet disposition.

4. The Ditzes
These women are the typical "Whooo!" girl. If you want to see them in their primal instincts find these when they're at a table with their closest friends and one of them just broke up with her boyfriend. They'll almost ever look for a guy when this occurs ("No guys tonight! I just want to be with my girls!"). If studying these creatures, I recommend earplugs. At every overplayed song on the radio, they will commence to scream joy and then commence to botch up the lyrics while drunkenly dance all over their fellow girlfriends.

These people make bars that much more interesting when I go to one. I immediately ignore the price of a vodka and tonic when I get to see America at its finest. The sad thing is, if anyone has been to a bar recently they know the types of people I'm talking about.