The Husband Chronicles

In order to ensure that I don't get in trouble later, from now on I will be chronicling my adventures as a new husband. Any stories may seem fabricated to other points of view, but that's just what they are: points of view. Anything I write will be how I saw it. With that being said, enjoy episode one!

Episode 1: The Fiber Powder Debacle

As most of my readers know, I am recently married and happily so! Liz is by far my best friend, perfect roommate, and the greatest person I know. She is so adorable that lately when we get in a tiff, I tend to laugh instead of get angry!

It started when were cooking turkey burgers for dinner (I must admit by the way, my best batch yet). Liz had to grab something from the pantry. While pulling it out from the shelving, her canister of fiber plopped out onto the ground and spilled everywhere. Not that much of a deal for a normal living situation, but since we didn't have the space for our wedding gifts (they're coming in on Saturday), we were mop-less, Swiffer-less, and broom-less. We were stranded on the linoleum floor looking helplessly around trying to figure what to do.

I started to get frustrated from the fact that I hate spills. I really do! It definitely stems from Starbucks. Whenever a milk pitcher is dropped, it spells an extra 2 minute wait time on all drinks, PLUS a longer line of drinks because we don't have a pause button.

Immediately then, my mind switched to Starbucks mode and wanted to become inventive with what we have. Liz immediately ran to grab one of our brand new towels.

R: "Liz, what are you doing?"
L: "Grabbing a towel honey!"
R: "A paper towel will pick this up just as well as a normal towel, but it will be cheaper."
L: "No it won't. Besides we're almost out of paper towels and we need them."

By this time I'm completely confused. I thought that spending the 3.00 it takes to wash a towel was more expensive than buying more paper towels. So now there's a quote floating around Liz's blog: "Well towels are for bodies, paper towels are for messes". And yes, I did say something to that light. It's the way God intended it. Besides, I didn't like the thought of using a nice new towel for that.

The result: I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and used a Liz-picked George Foreman tray (I asked for a cup, but she's right it DID work better) to clean the mess up.

Needless to say that after our bickering, we ended up laughing the matter off. So far, I'm really enjoying this whole marriage lifestyle. It's like a never-ending sleepover with great food!

Loans...

Meredith Andrews has this song called "You're Not Alone". Total cheesy Christian song, but gets me right at the heart, because it was so pertinent to me right now. You see, I have my private loans unlocking on me, and they're just as much as a house payment! I know I can't do this alone, and I knew that He gave me a way to go to school. So all I'm doing is laying it at His feet.

It's a bit like a splinter in your foot, constantly annoying, yet not bothersome enough to completely shut me down.

After David grabbed his stones to throw at Goliath he ran to the battle lines. Just like David, I'm taking what God has given me and defeating all doubt and transgression by taking it head on.

When God is with me, who can be against me?

I've decided that once I'm married this blog is going to also be a place to catalog the married life. While it won't be too detailed, I'm looking forward to writing my perspective on things that will change. Plus, since the Internet is infinite, my children will be able to read the entries as they get older. One more reason to catalog my adventures with my beautiful lady.

Chesterton and Cough Syrup

After finding out that G.K. Chesterton's "The Everlasting Man" had such a profound influence on C.S. Lewis' Christian walk, I really want to pick up a copy...Alas! I always want more and more books. But this one seems so promising! I mean seriously, read this quote:

"Pessimism is not in being tired of evil but in being tired of good. Despair does not lie in being weary of suffering, but in being weary of joy."

I love the way this man thinks...Always looking at things from a different lens than a normal person would, however still making sense. Great concept, eh? This book apparently is full of them, looking at Christ from outside the bubble in order to understand the beauty of it all. I really hope this book somehow falls in my lap!

On another note, I've been going through some form of cold bug or something. It's been a weird feeling. At first I was extremely cold, then I couldn't get out from under the blankets quick enough! Following the weird shakes, I've had crap going down my pipes making me sound like a asthmatic with a smoking addiction. Could it have been swine flu? Meh, who cares?! I'm alive and slowly getting better! I hope you all are doing well, and I promise to write on this more!

Lizzie, 13 more days!

The Lion, The Witch, and the Wedding Website

So today has been uneventful. As of late, life has become a well paced relaxed lull. I like, because when the stressful things come flying in from every direction, they don't faze me and I have tons of energy waiting on getting them settled.

Take the wedding blog for an example. While this may seem like something easily done, it is no small task. I hate working on it, even though I know everyone needs to know what is going on and blah blah blah. I just wish there was a way for them to just somehow know where to go, so I didn't have to write 8 different sets of directions. Oh well. I can't wait till a couple of days after the wedding so I can look at the site one last time, and then click the word "delete webpage". That will be a glorious moment. Take that stupid website! See if you ever haunt my dreams!

Other than the website stuff, I've been able to relax quite well recently. I've picked up the Chronicles of Narnia series and I LOVE it! The stories are so well written, so well put together, and so much imagination in them. I can't wait for night snuggles with my wife and kids as I read the adventures of Caspian, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. Those days will be a blessing.

It's actually quite a cool concept that C.S. Lewis employed when he wrote the series. Apparently, he wanted Jesus to be the model for Aslan (the super cool lion who comes at the most needed times). He wanted a story were, as the child grew up reading them, could slowly put two and two together and love Jesus like they did Aslan when they were younger. By doing this, Lewis also catered to adults, because you can see elements within the lines that a child wouldn't. My only regret is that I didn't read them as a child when my imagination soared.

Old-Self

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

I love this verse so much. In Christ there IS freedom. There's no doubt that this is true. But when I first encountered this a few years ago, I had no clue what Paul meant when he said "a yoke of slavery". Early American abolitionists used to use this verse as a means to encourage them to not go back to an old way of living, rather push forward and live a better life! This thought gives even more life to an odd verse. However, what Paul is talking about is what happens when you come to Christ and the change you take on because of it. My friend and brother in Christ, Pony, hit on this with great veracity last night.

Romans 6 speaks of this killing of self. When we sinned: when we did drugs, lied, murdered, cheated, hated, drank heavily we were living in a sinful wasteland. But when we come to know Christ, when we breathe in and welcome the grace that He has waiting for us, when we walk in the way of His fruits and accept Christ as a full life change we kill our old self.

Lately, as my friends can attest to, I refer to stupid things I did in the past as my old, dead self. For instance, last night while I was sitting on the front porch with Christa and Pony, I could smell weed and couldn't get my concentration off of it. I kept on saying, "you don't smell that?" Maybe they could, but they were able to ignore more easily than I could. I couldn't. It made me want to run inside with a can of Febreeze trailing my steps. Why would I do that? I detested what it reminded me of. It reminded me of who I used to be. I had to remove myself from who I once was and who I am now. These two scriptures helped that. Romans 6:2 says that "we died to sin"! 6:6 speaks of crucifying our old selves with Christ. IT was a great reminder to me that even though I have stupid reminders of stupid rebellious things I have done long ago, it isn't what defines me now. I killed it long ago when I fully gave my heart to Christ.

If there are things in this world that hold you down and you can seem to get free, there is freedom in Christ Jesus. The road isn't fully easy, but the end result is much better. And if you feel like you have love in your life now, wait until God takes hold of you!

Google: the Evil Empire?

Google is preparing to digitize the known libraries of the world. While this venture seems great above the surface, it still remains to be seen how everything will end. The primary concern for this project is whether the publishers (and subsequently, the writers) will get any monetary compensation for their work. This concern has come to the forefront of this proposed project. In lieu of the publishers and authors, the librarians have already begun an internal war over this issue: debating whether this project will help or hinder the local libraries.
In order to move around the prospect of prosecution for copyright infringement and to appease the naysayer librarians, Google plans on taking their case to the United States Court System. Also, in an effort to begin investigation, the Department of Justice has already looked into this project to see if it will give the consumers a different product to purchase, or if this will become a competitive item to the tangible books already on shelving nationwide.
The only redeeming factor about this situation is that Google’s pursuit for freedom from future prosecution will only become something awarded on the surface. The decision that the US courts give will still have to keep the copyright law intact. The author should have the right to decide whether or not they want to have their work scanned and placed online for all to view or purchase.
This situation is still a bit disconcerting. My fiancé is presently working towards a Graduate degree in Library Science. Supposedly, this field is rapidly growing and in high need for bright, educated librarians. I can’t help but wonder what does this move by Google mean for the librarians of the world? Do these elegant, stylized, buildings become places for people to hook up their USB to a port and download Joyce’s Ulysses? Or does this situation dissipate into another form of hype, making a victory for all the physical book readers of the world.
Personally, I used to own a digital book reader. Even though Google’s efforts are admirable, it doesn’t really bother me too much. I know there are many like me who cannot stand staring at a screen for hours to read when they can take a book to a bathtub and just soak in all the verses more comfortably. Plus, a physical book gives the reader a romance unfound in a Kindle or any other digital reader. So while Google tries to gain some right on putting these books online, Librarians and book lovers alike shouldn’t fret as much as the media. After all, it just means another route of access to get the Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or Steinbeck stories we have come to love and enjoy.

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Now playing: Eric Clapton - Stop Breakin' Down Blues
via FoxyTunes

I tend to always say how I never blog anymore. Truth is, I don't have much Internet access. And, when I do, I tend to research Arsenal news and then sign off.

The pastor of Richmond's First Baptist Church recently blogged about me! It's kinda cool to read words about you from somebody else. I thought it was neat at least!

Some day very soon I'll start blogging everyday again. However, today is just not that day. I have packing to do, friends to meet up with, and Arsenal stats to go back over so I can prepare for the Portsmouth game.


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Now playing: Louis Jordan - Ain't That Just Like a Woman
via FoxyTunes

Ryan's Corner!

This is my humble abode. Notice the small pictures of Liz and I hanging out on the window sill. It may not seem like much, but it has already been worthy of the title "home". I love my new place!
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Now playing: U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
via FoxyTunes

Inhabitants & Ireland

So, while it seems a great idea to peddle the streets of Richmond and spoon one of the many willing homeless in Monroe Park, my great friend and fellow brother of Christ, Ryan Gibbons has assumed the position of Good Samaritan. While it is his and his wife's house, a second round of kudos goes out to my friend Pony for clearing out a nice chunk of space to plop a mattress, footlocker, and crate of goodies.

I love it here. The ambiance of the place is one like family. Already I have walked in on my friends reading the Word 5 times! This is going to be a great encouragement. It may sound odd, but I tend to stray from talking about Christ to my fellow brothers and sisters, because I always feel like I don't need to. It's an awesome feeling somehow knowing that prayer in the Gibbon's household comes first and foremost. I believe that God has placed me here to learn this lesson. If I set my household this way, nothing can stop God's glory from coming in.

The sociological aspect is astounding. Ryan G. acts as a form of alpha male that loves each of the rest of us. So far, I have been awakened to him plopping on me full-on, sat on in the shotgun seat of a car, & placed in a diabetic coma via-massive amounts of ice cream.

I finished "A Star Called Henry" last night. The plot is well written; it almost has a form of real-life instead of some grandiose journey. I enjoyed that. But the aspect of the book that latched me on to it was the sheer vibrancy of the characters. None of them, not even Henry Smart himself, were overbearing or unbelievable. This helps the reader to suspend his disbelief even more and enjoy whats going on in the lines. The last hundred pages or so flew by so quickly. It was a perfect combination:

-descriptions like Steinbeck (but in a 1st person narrative)
-dialogue like Hemingway (short, realistic, with no "_" marks)
-Irish like Joyce

Life is great.

I can't stop thinking about how close I am to marrying the woman who makes m heart complete. We're nuts for each other and that makes my heart soar. I miss you Lizzie-doo.

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Now playing: Joni Mitchell - River
via FoxyTunes

Healthy Fellow

While I find it a very hard time to read blogs, I did happen upon this blog that seems to give some cool info. It's called Healthy Fellow, and even though it's just starting up, I see some neat things coming from there pretty soon. The writer discusses many subjects varying from Diet to exercise. Like me, he is a writer and has been for quite some time. His dedication to help the reader understand healthy principles is great. I enjoy the personal blog entries and hope you all will too!

Vivannos and Velocifly

Honestly, it's not the customer that drives me crazy when I'm working at the bux. It just happens to be their drinks. And even that doesn't bother me, I love making the complicated ones (Iced 5 shot venti, two pump raspberry, non-fat, light ice latte). It's ones that ruin my pace and time with the other drinks. The most common one being two people ordering two cappuccinos. They take up time because I can't leave the milk alone, I need to maintain aeration and make sure I don't burn the milk.

However, today is a day to be written down in history. Today my friend, I had to make over 10 strawberry banana smoothies in a 2 hour period rush, while solo bar-ing. If you aren't a barista at the bux, you could care less, but I must tell you that this is no fun feat. It requires almost five minutes per drink, all of your attention, and it takes forever to pour and clean up after. Take that, add 5 drinks everytime one is ordered and you had my work shift. EVEN regulars who normally drink brewed coffee wanted to have one:

"Fred! How are you! Want a grande coffee today?"
"Actually Ryan, I'd like to try something new."
Oh, crap.
"Sure! If you like coffee, you should try it iced, it's my favorite."
"No, I think I want something frozen."
Oh, crap. Please no.
"A frappuccino?"
"Yeah sure."
"Alright which type?"
Almost in the clear....
"One of those Strawberry Banana things"
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Such is the life of a Barista. Someday I'll have a salary job, and I'll do this exact same thing to a barista. But I'll apologize for the inconvenience.

In other news, Liz finally watched Jurassic Park with me last night. She was quoted many times in saying "You know I don't like suspenseful movies!" clinging every tightly to my arm or back. I swear I have bruises from the girl. I think she enjoyed it though, she laughed and squealed at all the right parts, so that is always a plus.

After the "intense" movie Liz and I grabbed some water from the kitchen where a fly kept constantly flying into my face. After many attempts at trying to kill the darn thing it went away, never to return that night. Liz tokened it as a "velocifly". cute!

Liquor & Laziness

The Liz and I had a pretty jam-packed day. While it was pretty inviting to go to the James river and kick my feet around with Pony, I decided that the both of us needed to hit the ground running and at least attempt to finish some things. We accomplished some needed tasks.

The ABC store gave us tons of boxes for packing. It felt quite odd bringing said boxes into Liz's place. The reason being, because the boxes had liquor brands on the side, and I know we were getting looks from every direction as we unloaded. I remember saying to Liz once we parked "Let's do this as quickly as possible." I'm glad we did! Now Liz and I will look like alcoholics when we move in to the new place. Hah!

I got my ring-size (8). We trucked it to Jared's jewelry, asked to find out my ring size and then exited abruptly. I don't really think the salesman realized that we were there just for the size. Oh well. The ring Liz and I found is a great fit for me: made of titanium, original, and has a copper color on the inside. I'm glad I didn't go too traditional. I tend to stray from that.

Before I ran to work to close, Liz made me realize that I've been kinda lazy and whiny lately. I don't honestly know why, I just have been. Maybe it's this whole need-a-job-&-hafta-move ordeal. All I know is that Huffiness=a not so happy Liz. "Love is patient", and I have to give her credit, she has been that and more. That's one of the reasons why I love her!

Now that it's after work, I'm sitting in the living room, missing Liz and convincing myself that I don't need sleep right now (I have to be at the bux again at 6:45 am). That is why I work at a coffee shop people! If I had to choose one thing I would like to do at the moment that is reasonable it would be to listen to jazz, have a glass of red wine, and read this awesome book I've been getting into. Ah, well, as Mick Jagger once said "You can't always get what you want". Soon I'll get what I need though. Very soon!

Currently Reading:Once I read more of it, I'll fill you in on my thoughts. So far though, I love it!

It's Superman!

So I just put down a book that I tried so hard to finish, but hated in the end.

It's Superman! by Tom DeHaven immediately intrigued me for two main reasons:

1) The dust jacket art was designed by Chris Ware, an amazing artist and someone who I tend to constantly enjoy through various comic means. (AKA McSweeney's covers).

2) DeHaven is one of the professors that teaches creative writing at the illustrious VCU!

I thought, "Hey! Here's an opportunity to establish a published writer friend in arms length distance from me. Surely, I'll enjoy this guy's writing. After all, he is writing on the comic-hero Superman.

I was wrong, oh so wrong on many levels. For one, I hate Superman anything going into the book. I was convinced that this could be a revival of Superman fascination for me! It was, however, another reason for me to hate Clark Kent and all of his amazing endeavors. In fact, my dislike for Superman is so strong that I never saw Superman Returns for the sheer fact of making a statement. It's not even that I don't like the guy. Clark Kent is a good person and teaches many kids good morals to stand on.

I also couldn't handle DeHaven's constant referral to the current history happening during the time that the piece was set in (The Great Depression). His depiction of New York was weak at best, and his characters written too much like that they were meant for a Frank Capra film.

Not to mention the switches between the characters left their development seem long-winded and wasted. Mr. Kent (Clark's father) got so much limelight in the first 50 pages and practically nothing else from then on. You fall in love with a character, you don't put him in the shadows for the rest of the time.

So sorry bud, but no more Superman for me.

[update!] If anyone wants to know something odd to get me it is this!

Approval

Galatians 1:10- Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

While Paul is using this rhetorical question as a way to prove a point, it is something I use to ask myself constantly. Never do I want my friends to think that I'm trying to win their approval. I've been down that road earlier, trust me guys, it is not fun nor rewarding.

The nice thought is that, sure, when you are forever trying to win the approval of God, not only do you gain God's approval, but also man's. But there is order things such as this. It doesn't matter the type of shoes you have, the car you drive, your annual salary. These things will fade. We are told to store our treasures in Heaven (Matthew 6:20) for a reason.

Allow me to paint a beautiful picture that I feel has to come out of me:

When we seek God's approval and are rewarded with treasure (stored in Heaven), it becomes something gorgeous. Not only does God know what we want, because after all He did create us, but He is also giving the treasure specifically to you. In Heaven. Away from a corruptible world where jealousy, greed, and avarice can take hold of it. It is freely yours, and yours to share as you will it. The whole purpose of gaining approval from God, is to realize that approval from man above God will fade just like earthly treasures.

Never think that you are here on this Earth for people to see you and say "There's a great person!". I have to be honest that a infinite number of those types of comments mean nothing to me. But just one, "Wow! I made him!" from God makes everything so much more worth it.

Why do you think God gave Jesus his approval when He was baptized? It was because it would be what He needed in order to carry out the second part of that story: Satan's temptation of Christ. The approval from God is so important.

So I have to ask: Are you doing what man thinks is right? Or what God does?

Politics and all of that mean nothing to me anymore, only God. That's a hard thing for me to admit. Sure I have my views, but I'm relaxed in trying my hardest to only do what is right and being there for anyone who needs me.

Dinos and Action Figures

This just in...Liz has never seen Jurrasic Park before!

I worked all day today thinking out loud to regulars and co-workers alike saying things such as: "she doesn't even know what a Velociraptor looks like!" or "I thought she loved John Williams...how could she have overlooked this movie?". The question remains whether I can somehow finagle her out of the no-action-film cocoon and get her to watch it. Nobody I know hates this movie, and there is a reason for it.

I remember riding in the back of my mom's white Buick, begging and begging her to take me. When she did, I became enraptured by the idea of actual dinosaurs coming back to life. Every other day I would try some new setup where Luke Skywalker, Snake Eyes, and He-man would have to fight off my T-Rex and the Spitter (Dilapasarous?) dinos. There were a few times where I convinced myself that I need to direct movies, because seriously, my action figures could act. I mean they could do some cool flips and punches.

Eventually, Skywalker would be knocked unconscious (so he couldn't use force powers), He-man taken down by a flock of Raptors, and Snake Eyes' feet would be dangling out of the T-Rex's mouth.

Such were the days of my youth.

Now, I go down the aisles of Target and sigh, knowing that when I have sons, the action figures I buy for them are also for me.

Opportunities, Arise!

Alright, another couple of days have passed by since I last blogged. Sorry about that. Life's been pretty good. Job searching, getting excited about the wedding, and a feeling of overall contentment.

It's great to have goals, and not know how to attain the tools needed to get there. That's when I'm in my best element. If someone came to me and said, you're going to try to work for "The Man" after college I would've highly doubted it. Not anymore though. I've been researching cool jobs through NIH and HUD. Both need people with good inter-personal skill and stellar writing to boost their Public Relations. Enters: me. I didn't go to school for PR, but I did learn to write well in the hellhole that is VCU, and I have to say that my ability to talk to anyone (even a wall if I have to) is one of the best skills I learned working at Starbucks.

MAIN Frustration: seeing all of these cool job opportunities show up and know that if I apply for them and get the job, they'll want me to work before the wedding. While that sounds nice, I need to make sure I have off those days and Liz and I aren't living together till after the wedding. I know, sounds so medieval, but we like it that way. So does God. Gotta keep the man upstairs happy. I think He's dangling all these cool job ideas so I can get excited about the job He's set aside for me! Keep those prayers coming for me though, it can get tough and nerve wracking when you don't know how this is all going to get done. I tend to keep my head up and persevere though! I like to stay happy.

Besides, Liz and I have found new cheap ways to stay entertained. We read to each other before we sleep, when we drive, and when we eat at fast food joints. We look like idiots to other people, but it helps with speech problems (I tend to mutter and stammer from time to time), and it's better than vegging out on a couch to watch an aimless TV program. It keeps us on our toes. We also tend to eat better now as well! I love spinach, and have fallen in love with using lentils in food (try cooking Meesir Wat, it's phenomenal!). Plus, I eat garden fresh tomatoes, when I used to hate non-cooked tomatoes (Liz used to joke on me, claiming I am "an Italian that doesn't like tomatoes, that's an oxy-moron!).

On top of packing and praying, I have decided that I want to make a mix of wedding songs I'd like to dance to and hear at the wedding. Once I get a list together, I'll post em so everyone can download them and tell me what they think.

I love you all, and you too Liz!

(This pic was taken two nights ago when Liz and I cooked. I know, we're so cute it makes unicorns throw up.)

I Know There's An Answer

I'm sitting in my Starbucks, listening to the Beach Boy's "Pet Sounds" album. An old friend always used to rant and rave about the album. I always equated it to the usual surf music. I never thought that I'd be listening to it constantly now. My Uncle Michael recently let me borrow his vinyl copy (a nice gesture I might add). He's always been a huge Beach Boys fan. I remember riding in the car with him and my cousin Robbie, blasting "Rhonda" as we go to get a bite to eat somewhere.

In fact, the Beach Boys have really always been a part of my life, I guess that's I never gave a big hullah-baloo when other friends started talking about them like they're the best thing since sliced bread. They had been background music for most of my childhood. I remember my dad playing "Surfin USA" as my brother and I would act as if we were riding Big Kahunas.

Good times...

As the time flies by quickly (less than three months till the big day), I can't help but think about so many things that are coming up. I have to help Liz move, along with most of belongings and then say goodbye to her for weeks. Then I have to randomly drive up to DC for countless Government job interviews. Here's to hoping that I get an awesome job. My resume looks great, if not for the fact that I have volunteer organizations, a hard working history, highly needed skills (language, computer proficiency, etc.), and a stellar list of recommendation letters. It's all there. Now I just have to survive the next few months without health insurance, no money, and tons of love to give to others.

I'm wondering what will happen once I move up there. Will this book get a new wind? Will I ever actually go to Law School? What about married life? All I know right now is that I'm gonna have the coolest person next to me, and God in charge of my future. From the outside it looks drastically scary, but from where I'm sitting I couldn't be more happy and comfortable.

Jobs

It's good to finally finish my resume. In everything I have done, I was able to put it all on two pages of paper. To many, this could be a bit disconcerting. I'm not worried about it all though. Only because it is mostly short and to the point. Much like these sentences.

Since Beth has been weathered down with being sick, Liz crashed on my couch last night (she can't afford to be sick, at the moment). Because of this, Liz and I have been able to catch up on some much needed cooking-togetherness along with countless episodes of "How I Met Your Mother". Hanging out with Liz is so easy and comfortable. It's great to have a woman that accepts me for being me. I don't have to try to be something I'm not. I love that!

Many doors are opening in the area of jobs in DC. Patent writing, Grant writing, speech writing, Ethics official, etc... It won't be hard to acquire a job. I'm not as worried as I once was. The constant thought through all of this has been "I refuse to enter my marriage with Starbucks as my job". If it begins like that, fine. But not forever. I need a challenge where I'm not dealing with food everyday. It's getting old quickly now. If I were paid better, I might say yes.

Dad was right, college is great if only to help me use my mind for money instead of my physical abilities.

I Love You

I think that one of the most single greatest things that Liz does is love me. Honestly, through any argument she has been able to show exponential amounts of love. The love she shows me, is a love that grows in time, encourages, and is comforting. I'm glad she's the one I get to see walk down that aisle, dance (like retards) with, and have movie nights with. All in all, when it comes to Liz's sole character, it IS love. That's a cool thing to know, and I'm certain all of my readers who know this woman can attest to the genuine love she radiates. It is truly amazing.

Wow Ryan, how did that come up?

Well, like all of my emotions when regarding Liz, they come quickly and like a huge wave. I feel so much love from this woman, that I can't even begin to explain the sheer beauty of her love. It's awesome.

The whole spark started at Bed, Bath, and Beyond earlier today. We finished our registry there (YAY!). Going up and down, around and through the aisles made me realize that "hey, this is for real". I couldn't help but keep looking over at Liz and thinking "we're here because this woman loves me. Stupid jokes, graying hair, and all. She loves me". It felt like that moment in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" when the girl reindeer tells Rudolph he's cute and he ends up flying (she thinks I'm cuuuuuuuttteee!). You get the picture.

So really, this was a soapbox moment for me to see how lucky I am to have this awesome woman who loves me regardless of my faults and craziness.

I love you, dear.

Gazebos and me being a Hobo

I really need to get new pictures up on here of me and the lady. I've begun to notice that there are many photos of us that somehow never make it on the internet. Maybe that's because my stepmom doesn't post her awesome photos online. Hmmm. Maybe Liz and I should show her how to setup a Flickr account so I can constantly steal stuff from her. Mwahahaha.

The pic to the left is the most recent one I can find. This is when the both of us double dated with Christopher and Caitlan at an awesome sushi place in the Shockhoe Slip, circa June 5th-ish.

I'm hanging at my workplace, getting ready to work in a few hours. What I don't understand is how I can relax at Starbucks, even though i know that I hafta get ready to work in a bit. It's a little odd.

Cool news of the day: actually SOME cool news...

- As I speak, i am sipping a french press of the best coffee ever: Gazebo Blend. Many can debate this, but I love it's high acidity, and citrus notes that speak "Yo bro, it's time for Summer...be ready!". I kinda had to break into a box in the back and secretly hide it from the suspecting customers so they wouldn't know what I had. It's ok though, I'm a coffee master and allowed to sample new coffees. As much as I dislike the pay, and crummy hours, this job has some amazing perks. Free french pressed coffee included!

- I came back from a Barnes and Noble trip. I returned Russell Brand's book "My Booky Wook", not because it wasn't funny. It was, trust me. I returned it because of its content. I recognize that the guy has been through a ton and is lost in a sea of bad decisions. However, the way he writes about these things makes me feel like he isn't too regrettable about them. Like a drug addict writing a memoir in the midst of recovery. Maybe that was the point, use the book as a form of recovery. It does bother me though. Bleh.
So when I returned it, I picked up "One Second After" by William R. Forstchen. I'm so glad I can pick up what I call "Mind Trash" just because I don't need to read "Moby Dick" within a week's amount of time. At least the book looked neat. I appreciate end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it type of books (If you don't know what I mean, read "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley, you'll thank me for it.). I think this counts as Sci-Fi, which I haven't been able to enjoy since Undergrad school started, so we'll see. I need mind=numbing reading right now. Too many other things to think about at the moment.

Long Time, No Blog!

So I just recently noticed my lack of blogging! Erg, it tends to bother me when I haven't written in awhile. Then, when I find time to sit down and write, I tend to neglect all the cool things happening in my life recently. Well, have no fear: I'll give it to you in a nutshell!

-Went home for a weekend with Liz to start up the whole Pre-Marital counseling that is required. I like how this is all working out. Sifting through an enormous questionnaire with odd questions, however, is not what I expected. For example "Define Marriage..." Ok, I can do that. But my mind races through so many exceptions to this rule such as "do they want the governmental definition? How about the Conservative, right-wing answer?". Then when I finally come to a logical conclusion that somewhat resembles an acceptable answer, I get hit with this underneath: "Please give scriptural references to support your answer". Now I know my Bible, I read often, but seriously? I thought that's what you guys would do for me! Isn't that why we're getting PRE-marital counseling? Well, I guess that's how life is. A simple yes or no won't do sometimes. I'm excited to start this aspect with Lizzie!

-Deanna dropped by Liz's during that weekend and they did cool girly things together. When I drove the two of them around to find the Purple Cow, it was nowhere to be found! What Happened?! People of the Hampton Roads area, why did you not tell me? I love purple vanilla milkshakes. I NEED THEM!

-Liz and I headed then to a magical land that is otherwise known as Nags Head. It was filled with great food, reading, laying in the sun, and wishing I had a wetsuit. I used to hate the beach and how the sand gets everywhere. Not anymore though. I just wanted the water to be warmer so I could swim in the ocean for more than five minutes. One of my favorite beach things is to jump with the waves and laugh whenever one of my friends wipes out. All in all though, I got to really spend some close time with family.

- Today is Father's Day! When we were in Nags Head, Liz and I taught my Dad how to play cribbage which is foretelling, now that he is a Granddaddy. Pretty soon he'll be widdling or sitting on the front porch for long hours staring into the distance. I love that guy. I want to take him back into a church with me like we used to do. Seriously, he was relentless. I love his constant "we're going to church" attitude. I'd fake sickness or tiredness and he'd still somehow get me out of bed on time to make Sunday school. His constant persistence in my welfare with God has helped me solidify my relationship with Him. Thanks Dad, I love you. And so does the main Dad.

Oh Liz!

Poor Liz. :(

I went over to her place to pick up some leftover pizza she offered, only to find her on her living room floor with a sea of papers placed all around her. Seriously, I have never seen the woman so flustered over a class. I know it's because she's a perfectionist and really wants to do well on the final exam. I just miss her. Once I grabbed the pizza, I asked if there was anything I could do for her (ie: prayer, run errands, cook etc...).

Her response: "I'm neither mad, angry, nor sad at you. I'm just stressed, and I honestly need you to leave so I can get this all done."

So I left. I cried a quick tear too. I know she needs her space for all of this stuff, it's just that I miss her soo much. At least when we are far away, we get to talk on the phone a bit. Because of this summer school, I haven't had my Liz time that I'm used to. I know she'll get all she needs done, and on time though.

I wanna do something for her. I'm planning on taking her Sunday shift and giving her the money she would be paid for working it just so she can have a breather. She needs it, and I don't mind working for her. Plus, she hasn't been able to make it to church lately, and I feel that it's important. So, let's hope she's down with this idea, because I feel ready to help!

Oh Liz, you work sooo hard for your work! I can't wait to be your husband and hold you when things like this happen for Grad School. At least then I'll be able to cook and cuddle at a moment's notice.

Did some of the wedding website...hafta make some construction changes per Liz's request. Did some registry stuff, but then again I need Lizzie for that too because I'm not too good when it comes to picking lamps and all.

Not All Who Wonder Are Lost

Today seems to be completely opposite from yesterday. Liz has been working her butt off for her summer school classes, and as a result, I have been completely bored when I'm not working! Most of my friends can hang out, but only for a couple of hours. So as the time passes, I get left with nothing to do by myself. Seriously, you would think that I would have so much to do on days like this, but honestly, I get pretty bored. I've already hung out with God, played video games, and I know it sounds weird, but I can't read the next book on my Summer Reading list I made.

"For Whom The Bell Tolls" is finished, but emotionally draining. I realized that all of my books are going to be this way, and so I need a break between each one I read.

Oh well. Poor Liz, I think she'd rather be bored than writing craptons of essays.

I'm on a mission today. I have to revamp certain areas of our wedding website, get hold of my Grandpa for timeshare info, and even finish our registry. Liz will then go over everything else and make sure it looks cool. It's nice to know she trusts me with everything. Love that girl...

This David Book-Thingy

Yesterday, I began the arduous task of writing the David book. Well, at least the preliminary aspects of it. The plan goes as follows (subject to change at God's discretion, after all it IS for Him):

1. Read, Read, re-read, and did I mention read 1st, 2nd Samuel along with the first two chapters of 1st Kings. I need to soak myself in the scriptures more than most so I can gain the discernment that is needed to write a book.

2. Go through some cool commentaries I've found. It's essential to find discrepancies among theological scholars so I can place myself on a certain debate.

3. Hopefully by this time I'll read through the scriptures again and start to get ideas on chapters. It's beginning to look like it will have three main sections (Who David was, his heart for God, and personal applications). Mind you though that I plan on making this very approachable, not like the books that seem too pretentious. My hope is that someone can pick this up without ever really knowing much about David, and get just as much out of it as the scholar next to him.

4. Then comes the really hard part that will need all of my friend's to pray for. Once it's mostly written, I have to find someone who will print the book and distribute it. I know that since I am supposed to be writing this, that God will make a way. Plus this is too far away for me to think about now. It'll come.

I am so excited to have finally started this amazing journey. I have already learned so much about God from what I have read (it'll be in the book, can't give away EVERYTHING!). Originally, before the book started making sense, I wanted to figure out a way to glorify God for giving me a way to go to school. What better way to honor Him than by using my English BA by writing a book to encourage others? It's my tithe for the blessing He has given me!

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up
1 Thessalonians 5:11

The Remains of the Week

Nothing can be more satisfying than finding a day to do whatever you want. This week has been one of those times that only occur every once in a blue moon. I got to refresh my mind, heart, spirit all in one foul swoop.

-After getting a huge amount in Sbux tips this Monday, I was able to pick up some much needed Two-ply (don't ever try to use single ply consistently, it becomes painful after a bit...long story) and these headphones. Te other ones I use are earbuds and they love to fly out of my ear every other step I take when I run outside. So "goodbye" earbuds, "hello" awesome Nike neck-phone thingys!

-I was able, thanks to a birthday gift card, to pick up some much needed literature to kick off my Epic Summer Reading List of 2009!!! (cue awesome monster truck voice guy!). I snagged Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, The Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck, and Skin by Ted Dekker. The Dekker book isn't from the list, but between books I tend to do a lazy read to prep my head for something more of a literary snob taste. All in all, my reading pace is alarming even myself and I hope to finish at least these books by July. We'll see though. Ayn Rand's novel is over 1000 pages long!

-Kickers won 2-0 today! While this is pish-posh for most of my readers out there, I enjoy going to the games (I have a season ticket) and have been waiting since the beginning of the season for a home win. Today was that day! so yay...

-The David book that my friends are asking me about is coming along in the research stage. It's really cool to listen to God and figure out little things on what to write about. Right now, I'm on the "What should be the main chapters I write about?" stage. As I go along in this journey, I'll share little snippets and see what everyone thinks. This is going to be BIG! Like, "Wild at Heart" big. My prayer is that it will affect many, not just some.

I guess it doesn't seem like a ton is going on right now, but I know there's more that I'm missing. If you wanna know other aspects of what I'm doing with my pretty lady, check out what she talks about by clicking here. She's better at remembering cool events, or talking about neat wedding things she's doing.

I love my crafty future wife!

For Whom the Bell Tolls pt.2

Alright, like I said I'd write some more on what is quickly becoming one of my top five favorite novels of all time. Seriously, Hemingway makes the characters move in such a way that is mere
reality. You feel as if you are an observer of an alternate reality.

I say this only because I just read something that made me emotionally bankrupt for about ten minutes. Robert Jordan wakes up in the morning and spies an enemy on horseback trotting towards him. Hemingway illustrates an air of suspense that ends with Robert shooting and killing the rider. Big whoop, right? Well, the way that Hemingway illustrates Robert's regret in "murdering" the young man is illustrated when he reads the letters from the boy's family and his fiance.

It becomes this inner dialog between Robert's subconscious on whether it is right to kill another man in battle or should he even be doing this. The internal battle demonstrates Hemingway's mastery over the existential narrative and the ability to paint a true picture of human emotion. Wow, this book keeps throwing me feelings that I try to distance myself from when I read...

New Place!

It's pretty cool to see how quickly God can take something that seems eternally stressful and make it into something easy. I'm talking about moving into a new place. Liz starts Grad School in College Park, Maryland on August 31st and we get married on October the 10th. The last thing we needed to plan for was an apartment to rent. I really wanted to take care of this for Liz, seeing as she's in Summer school and still trying to tie up the ends of the wedding planning.

So, BOOM! I was able to hit a few search engines, and a week later have secured a cute little basement apartment for a fair price half a mile to Liz's campus. It's in a house and not in an apartment building, it will be fully renovated prior to us moving in, and the lessor is a really genuine guy (hard to come by in the DC/Metro Area). All in all, I didn't need to make many phone calls when I was researching. God made it pretty clear where He wanted us to be and how it was to go down. Once we got to College Park, it felt as if we were just visiting and everything went casually.

Jeremiah 29:11 is something that I have stood on during this whole "transition" phase. I mean, if God was so blatant that this was where He wanted us to be, He made it pretty easy for our transition. I love the little things God does for us, just because He loves us!

Pictures to follow in an update...

What I've Been Doing With My Moleskine

And so the journey begins...

I've been told that I can write well, relate to others easily, and can make a person or two laugh on occasion. These qualities are some that are needed in writing a book, my friends. So I've been doing some reading, research, and TONS of prayer on a certain idea I've been working on, and now it seems that I'm going to go through with it...
This is to announce that I will be writing a book during the two years that I am out of school! It makes sense though, doesn't it? I mean, I write often out of boredom on here, plus it'll be good to feel as if I've done something other than support Liz in the next two years. So, here's my chance.

I plan on writing an Inspirational book on living your life like David (You know THE King David? The one that took down the Goliath with a slingshot?). I've gone through some other books that mention or fully focus on him, and I've noticed a constant repeat: they all use him to defeat "the giants" in your life. I feel that they make him out to be something so much more muted than he really was. Beth Moore wrote a book that encourages you spiritually through David's model...cool concept, eh? Well what I want to do is write something that takes the life of David and helps the men looking for that strong male role model that they can't seem to find in their own life. I've had plenty of experience in this area: being a child who survived a split family, it became hard to realize who I was in God's eyes. Now, I'm beginning to notice that The Word helps, and I'm gonna take my experiences along with David's and radically help the way young men are thinking in this society.

Man, I hope this works! God, has already been showing me really cool things! What do you think?

Do you know Him?

I remember seeing this video at Light of Life a few months ago. Nothing can compare to how amazing my Father is. But Dr. SM Lockridge's description of him is amazing! Listen to it and go through the whole video, you won't be disappointed. Hossanah in the highest!

Customers @ the Bux

Fact: I do in fact think of ways to fix the wrongs of the Starbucks customers.

Examples include one/many of the following on a given shift.

Problem 1:

"Hello sir, welcome to Starbucks. What can I start for you?"
"Venti Mocha" (throws credit card at me).

Solution:

I always do the right thing and finish the transaction with a more forced smile than usual. However this being a rant I take the credit card, break it in half and hand it back in two pieces. "Sir, next time you throw a credit card at me, make sure it doesn't break!"

Problem 2:

"Hello Mam, what can we start for you?"
(Motions "wait" with her finger and commences to speak to her best friend about the awful man she met the night before while holding up a line ten people deep).

Solution:

When she finally gets off the phone, I grab the store phone and turn around. I have social needs too you know. One of which being to catch up with best friends while taking up everyone else's time.

Problem 3:

"Excuse me, worker, this isn't my drink"

Solution:

Remind the idiot that his drink is in position 10 drinks behind all the other people standing around him. Then you continue with the explanation that the world in fact does NOT revolve around him and that he should reconsider being a Doctor for if he wants to help people he should begin by being humble and wait in line like the rest of us.

IT takes a ton to get me on a Starbucks rant, but any of my barista readers out there know that when it comes to a crappy day, a crappy customer can make it even worse. It may not seem like a hard working job, but steaming milk, writing orders down, smiling, and doing it all in a timely orderly fashion is harder than it looks. If I had it my way, I'd be writing on this blog all day.

Oh Liz!

In about four more months, Liz and I get married!

I never thought that I could get such an amazing woman, let alone date her. She has been through a ton, and has shown such strong perseverance. When it used to be "everything is at odds against me" it now has turned into a "I can and will do this" attitude. She has budded into a beautiful flower where her beauty, inside and out, has flourished.

Liz's eyes to God has encouraged me everyday to pray and fall more in love with Him. Whenever I started to falter or get upset, she would be that reminder to spend time with Him. Not only has this increased my faith and my happiness, but it has also encouraged me to fall more in love with her (as if I could!). When I see her, it isn't just a beautiful woman before my eyes, but one who becomes more beautiful every day I am with her. God knew exactly who I would be best matched with, and I am so glad that I met her this early in my life! Now I can look forward to a lifetime of UNO, Backgammon, Friends viewings, cuddle talks, wine nights, & late-night laughter.

I wrote this not only because I am so happy about who she has become, but because I can't stop thinking about her. I mean it. I randomly looked online about the Voyager satellite, and found out that Uranus has three moons (bear with me a moment). Two of which are names that are nicknames between the two of us: Titania and Oberon. The names come from the fairy King and Queen in Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Here are what they look like! The one on the left is Titania, and the right is Oberon. I know they're kinda helter skelter, but I couldn't work out the layout the way I wanted it! Sorry! But I couldn't stop being proud of Liz after these pics triggered my thinking, and I began to realize how much of a woman she has become, and I can't describe how happy she makes me. I love her more than Star Wars, Arsenal, and Hot Wings combined!

Update on Life

Today has been a very eventful, yet still very chill week. Here's the recap:

-I had Jamaican cuisine for the first time on Thursday! Liz and I ate escoveitch fish accompanied with mashed cassava and fried plantains. Definitely a night to be remembered. The way it happened was quite a story too. My friend Jarrod (a Jamaican) and his mother (Faith) found out that my dad's side of the family is almost 100% Italiano. In order to see who's cuisine was better, we had a rotating cook-off. On Tuesday I cooked stuffed shells with homemade sauce. Not a bad choice for Italian cuisine; it didn't have the traditional approach of just spaghetti noodles and sauce. But honestly, the two flavors (Mediterranean and Caribbean) can't really be judged together. Their food was phenomenal: it gave me a whole new range of flavors and spices I had never even thought of using together.
Truly, it was an amazing day. We walked into Jarrod's place with reggae blasting on the speakers, wine in glasses, and fish frying. A great experience with some of my favorite things: Jamaicans, Liz, food, and wine. Not a bad way to welcome in the weekend.

(side note): I learned Jamaican speak: "What gon bad a'mahnin, can't come good a'evenin' ". Basically, it means that if was bad to begin with, it will be bad later too, so it's best to just leave it alone.

-If Jamaican wasn't the topper, I just came back from an Indian restaurant for the first time in my life. Man, I never knew what I was missing. While eating, I never asked what anything was, I just put things on my plate from the buffet line, sat down and ate. I could've eaten beetles and it wouldn't have mattered. They use spices that make everything taste spicy, yet flavorful. It was great! But it was no escoveitch.

-I recently weighed myself. Not to say that I have been upset recently about my weight. I'm too confident in myself for any of that to bother me too much. However, I had realized about 6 months ago that I couldn't eat the junk that had been propelling me forward in High School (ie:potato chips, pop tarts, M&M's etc.). I immediately changed my diet. I only eat when hungry, I stop eating when I'm not hungry, and I eat good food. I used to hate vegetables even up to a year ago. I couldn't stand them at all! Now, I crave a good salad. I need to run. I have to drink water instead of soda. Period.
Once I saw the way Liz was living, I jumped on her bandwagon and became "Mr. Ryan (whose-future-wife-s-the-supreme-know-it-all-of-a-healthy-diet)". She has helped me rethink the decisions I make when I get hungry. I noticed that I used to just go for junk to hold me over when I was hungry. Now, I'll wait for a meal or snack on a carrot, or broccoli, or whatever is freshest. I even surprised myself when I looked at what I had in my grocery cart today:
_Veggies (all fresh and organic): carrots, red bell peppers, broccoli, fresh greens
_Fruit (all fresh and organic): bananas, lemons, apple
_Ginger for snacking
_bottle of red wine (good for the heart in moderation)
_gluten & preservative-free Larabars for breakfast
_chicken (super lean, no skin, and did I mention ORGANIC!)
Wow! I haven't eaten this healthy in...forever! I don't need a nutritionist, I have a Liz.
To get back to my point:
weight before running, eating healthy, and being more active: 178 lbs.
weight after making a healthy change: 162 lbs.
I lost 16 pounds by making a change! I'm starting to look lanky like I used to! I can't wait till this is all done.

(expect another piece on For Whom the Bell Tolls in another day or two).

For Whom the Bell Tolls pt.1

Fact: I love Hemingway, but am sometimes disturbed by his ability to write certain depressing scenes so beautifully.

Aloow me to backtrack so everyone is on the page as me on this one. I am currently reading his most major (in my opinion) novel "For Whom the Bell Tolls" as a way to go through the gamut of major Hemingway works. So far, I have claimed each book as one of my top favorites and this one is meeting into the actual top five of all time for me. However, I recently read chapter 10 about two days ago and was completely horrified.

The book is about and during the Spanish Civil War. Robert Jordan, an American for some odd reason, goes to the front lines and is ordered to blow a bridge strategically with the aid of the local guerrilla forces. When he meets this band of misfits (for a lack of a better term) he ends up getting background stories on most of the characters. Pilar, the wife of one of the unit's chiefs, talks about how they originally run out the Facists from the local town.

This is where it gets disturbing, only because Hemingway can make something so vivid without many words. The Republicans (not the political party, but more a supporter of a Repulic form of government) form two lines with one end being the house they are locked in, and the other end being a high cliff. One by one, the men are forced out of the house and made to run through the villagers at the end of a shotgun. The villagers beat them with sickles, flails, and bludgeons; really anything they can get their hands on. IT was devastation.

I was so torn by the way it was written. I have grown to love these characters for over 150 pages, and have learned their struggles. However, I read about the executions and wonder about how I would've reacted if I were there. As much as I have a bleeding heart for Democracy, nobody and I mean NOBODY should have to go through the horrors that these people faced, regardless of their belief structure.

I think this is how Hemingway wanted to present it too, and I'm glad. I've noticed that the way he presents information allows the reader to sit on the fence with him: almost an ability to see both sides and move on easily. Of course, his writing style made him famous (all action sentences), but this makes his writing more enjoyable on my part. I'll let you know how I feel the further I get along.

Here's Hemingway on the left...he's so Grandpa-ish! I love it!

John 3:17

After reading what I wrote last night, Liz pointed out something that she's instructed me to focus in on. In other words, Liz wants me to go past John 3:16 and focus a bit broader by attaching John 3:17 as well. This my friends is a huge step!

Let's dive into the scripture and see what's going on there:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

Well there you have it. Verse seventeen then becomes a reiteration of what I was trying to explain in the last post. It isn't that God let Jesus suffer for us to be sufferers ourselves, but more as a way to bring us into salvation. Basically, Jesus is THE ultimate superhero. Think about it, he saves not just some people from a burning place, but ALL who accept Him. The Bible, when looked through this lens, then becomes a form of large love poem. God has really been putting it on my heart to write about this feeling: LOVE. The Beatles had it right when they said that "love is all you need". When love is God, who could argue with that claim? I know I can't.

But it isn't just the love that is a part of being a Christian. It's loving unconditionally. How many people can say they do that? I know how hard it is for all of us to see a wife beater or child molester and think "we have to love them too?" I hate to say it, but yes we do. That doesn't mean getting them acquitted and letting them babysit your two year old. No not at all. But trust in the power of God. The scriptures say that Jesus made Judas the treasurer of the Apostles even though He knew that he was a thief.

Wow! That's love. God puts so much love and faith in us when we don't even see it in ourselves. Instances like this verify John 3:16-3:17. Jesus looked in the very eyes of his betrayer, put faith and love in him even though He knew he would die because of his deception. His love expands all generations, and I feel that I'm being told by the Spirit to say not just generations but His love of His children forgives anything.

Isn't that the essence of being sent into the world and not condemning it? He forgives anything, and nothing fazes Him.

Need proof? Ask me of the stupid things that I've done in my life sometime.

As always, I love you friends, and if you ever need me I check my e-mail 50 times in a day: matthewsrs2@gmail.com

His Love for Us

I have to tell you that it never ceases to amaze me how much He loves us. True, the whole "common" Christian thing to do is to quote John 3:16. But how many of us let that scripture sink in to our very thought process and let it stew for a minute? I never honestly did till about a few minutes ago.

This scripture not only is the core of the Christian ideology, but it has also become a verse used to reach out to people. I know plenty of non believers that can even recite the lines! For awhile it wasn't hard to find someone holding a sign at some sports event that read in painted lettering "John 3:16" high above his head with one of those multi-colored wig on his head. Erg. Let's look at it, even though you have probably already read it before on your own, in Sunday school, or with a friend.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

The first concept that jumps from the verse is the word LOVE. I think that as people of Christ we tend to look too far ahead of ourselves. I mean really the first part illustrates tons more than we give it credit. He loves us (the world= His image=humans) therefore, he sacrificed (quite literally) the human version of Himself so that we could chill with Him forever.

I like that word love though. It has a good ring to it. If God loves us so much that he would suffer, bleed, become broken, and die for us how come we find it so easy to negate Him? I mean, Christ is the alternative to permanent death, He is eternal life. It's a matter of either/or situations with God in this verse.

Either: He doesn't love us, and so He doesn't send Christ to die so we can accept Him into our lives and live forever.

Or: He loves us without abandon, sending Christ to die so we can be forgiven of our sins and live in Heaven Forever.

Nice concept eh?

So next time you see someone who is quoting this scripture or is holding the sign at a sporting event, realize that he is just hoping you see it this way: It's all about love to God, and it seems that the guy that's holding the sign is trying to say the same thing.

And I love you too.

Remember that Christ's sacrifice was just as much for you as the most holy person you can think of. Never second best yourself...He doesn't.

Summer Reading List

OK, so I have a list of five books I'll be reading this summer:

1. Atlas Shrugged: Ayn Rand
2. Infinite Jest: David Foster Wallace
3. Netherland: Joseph O'Neill
4. Grapes of Wrath: John Steinbeck
5. Not Future Without Forgiveness: Archbishop Desmond Tutu

when I finish these books, I'll write thoughts and reviews about them. If you wanna follow along with what I'm reading, I'll be starting this list as soon as I'm done with "For Whom the Bell Tolls". If you would like to follow me as I read that, I'm only 100 pages in it and I LOVE the dialogue. Hemingway at his best.

What do you think? Should I change the order, remove/add another book?

Kim Walker

So Liz has been getting me into Kim Walker. Whenever I hear her, I think of when Liz said: "It's always very beautiful when you see someone do what God intended them to do". Well, she is definitely one of those people. I know the song is long, but take 10 minutes and praise God by listening to this song by clicking here. You'll thank me later...I promise. This song is beautiful.

My List of Dream Jobs

It's never been about the good things in life that we learn from. For some odd reason God likes to take the bad and show us as His children lessons we can take from them. It is pretty cool to see these types of situations evolve in front of my eyes. You may be going through one of these God-ordained learning period, or at least know somebody who is going through one.

The best part about them is that if the person involved perseveres, the become a better person.

I've been happy to walk in what God wants me to do, and to be blatantly honest, I have learned tons from Him in the past six months. Seriously! My life has gone in a completely different direction than I had intended it. I wanted to go to Grad school and become a professor of English, I wanted to live in South Carolina with Liz (ignoring the frustrations that pre-marital cohabitation would bring), I wanted to get Magna cum Laude, and I wanted it all to happen because it was what I wanted, not what HE had planned for me.

The best advice I think that I could ever give any of my friends, family, or my future children is that be prepared to ride a windy roller coaster if you ask God to take the reins in your life, even though it will be the best decision of your life.

Me and my selfish ambitions landed me flat on my face after years of a huge tug-of-war with God. I forgot who I was in His eyes, and lost sight of the big picture. Turns out, not only does He know the right fit for me, he knows perfect planning and a way to get me there.

I now will be helping Liz go through Grad School and then we're gonna head back to Chesapeake for Law School at Regent University. I know that I have already talked about it previously, but I wanted to have people think about this for a second. Sure, I'm not living technically in the South for two years (which is a bummer because I like an occasional sweet tea and fried chicken), but it works the best way possible. I get to have a small hiatus and calm a Grad-School-stressed Liz, we get to go back home (which will help if we get pregnant, fall on hard times, need family around), and I get to help people. He even provided me a way to stay in Richmond till the wedding so Liz and I can still fight for our purity and make it worthwhile. But the getting to help others is the coolest part of the whole deal. Everyone that knows anything about me knows that I can take a cool idea and turn it into a dream job. I, in fact, to this day have gone through at least 5 well thought out career paths:
1- Military
2- Firefighter
3- History teacher
4- Police officer
5- Male Nurse
And now I can peg English Professor up there, because it isn't going to happen and it doesn't bother me. But did you notice a trend in all of my desired jobs? They all involved protecting or helping another fellow human. I guess if you asked me what I want to do for a living it would have to be "help others". I never really thought about that till just now, but it is what Christ commands us to do. I'm glad that my heart rings true to God's voice.

While the situation has become frustrating at times (such as living in Maryland, possibly working for Starbucks for another two years); one where I never know what treat is waiting just on the other side, I can tell you this: giving God the keys to the Porsche has been the BEST idea I have ever had.

[sidebar] It's my Birthday today! I'm now 23, and still kicking! To celebrate, Liz will hopefully have planned something cool to do, and I'm gonna watch Star Wars IV: A New Hope in Ryan Gibbons' backyard with some of my buds! I love life, and God makes it more vibrant!

School Update

Wow! Another day, yet somehow another amazing time to reflect on the past few months.

It seems that I will get so close to Magna Cum Laude, yet not reach it that it's irritating. I needed three A's and two B's at least to get it, and this semester seems to be turning into a 2 A and 3 B situation. Where does that leave me? With a 3.589! Why wouldn't they round up that to a 3.6 so I can say I graduated with Magna cum Laude honors? Sheesh!

I am determined to not let this bother me though. I'm still graduating with an A average and I get the satisfaction of knowing that this is enough to satisfy everything else! Plus, I know that I'll do so well on the LSAT, that Regent Law will be begging for me to grace them with my presence at their university.

I hope that God will help me through all of this though. I am trying to keep optimistic when it feels like I'm just being a bit too hard on myself. I just wish that I could've gotten that Magna cum Laude, instead of just cum Laude. That's life though...

Roommates & Graduation

I love my roommates. Quite honestly, as much as I am excited about being married, it's going to be hard to part with them. My old roomie, was a pretty cool guy: extremely nice, kept to himself, and shared the same sense of humor.

However, Matt and Adam have been a great transition to marriage. They encourage me to do things with "the guys", that will be even harder when I live with Liz. Example: countless hours spent playing a game where you place bouncy balls in a small bowl filled with water. Seriously, it was the most fun I've had. A woman would never find that fun. No doubt it would be considered a waste of time. Us guys are easily entertained.

But it wasn't just the enjoyable hours of weird games that makes them fun. It was the male bonding that I've longed to have since I've moved to Richmond. These guys are great ears when all I needed was someone to listen. They were so willing to let me borrow anything, and quick to hang out. We pray together and laugh over the weirdest things. This year has been exactly what I've needed. I don't doubt that when I come to Richmond while Liz is working on exams, I'll be crashing on their couch. When we get older, our kids will fight/play with each other.

I am officially done with Undergrad! I'm still going through this weird surreal moment where I can't believe that I am allowed to read whatever I want. Unfortunately, what I want to read is Hemingway. I guess I didn't get enough of him in class. Oh well...

Getting there, and Enjoying It!

Well, most of the objectives are finally completed. I have to say that I am quite pleased on the outcome of those grueling nights at the library. My thesis is sound, well documented (18 sources for a 16 pager!) and a bit on the sarcastic side, which is totally my voice.

While I am starting to get excited about school coming to an end for me (at least till Law School), it shocks me at how bittersweet this all feels. I thought that after I ended college that rainbows would open, and I would end up being more and more relaxed about life. Boy, was I wrong. I have begun to notice that the real world is still moving while I take a pause to admire it. Life is quite beautiful at the moment though. I have much to look forward to in my future, and I'm getting married to the perfect woman. She continually encourages me through her wisdom and grace, it's hard to think that God gave her to me...I am extremely thankful for that.

I've begun to listen to God more and more. Each day I have noticed that I spend tons of time with the big dude, and it feels like being with my best friend. I love how cool he can be to me! While my loan repayment schedule will activate in December, I know God will help me out in every way possible because of my tithing and because of His love for me. I definitely have faith like a sparrow, and even though I may be joked on it, I stand on Christ's red lettering.

I'm beginning to see my future plans unravel and make sense. Sure, it sounded like I was just trying to grab onto a ledge when I mentioned Law School, but I was serious. I never doubted that I didn't get into a Grad School this year for a reason. One of the reasons had to be because He saw something more, and didn't want me to waste my time. I feel that Law is becoming more and more a reality. The rough sketched plan is as follows:

I will follow Liz to her Grad School and help by working my butt off for the both of us. Once she's done (in two years time), I want to move back to Chesapeake and pursue Law at Regent University. Their Law Program isn't too bad, and I like the way they do their classes: the last ten minutes are devoted to group prayer, biblical applications to the material lectured, & an obvious Christian ethical approach to Law. All of which are going to be needed once I start on this venture. I want to keep my eyes on Him and praise Him while I pursue this career...It's important. Plus, if Liz and I decide to have a kid, want to go visit friends in Richmond, or just want to be close to our families, this becomes logical and practical. I LOVE this idea so much it makes my head spin every which way. I really think that this is what's going to happen simply because I get extremely excited over all of the facets that make sense over this.

But don't think that I'm just going to try to fly on by the next two years. Oh no, if God has a place for me somewhere else, or I get an awesome job, I'm mature enough in the spirit to just move with how the spirit is guiding me.

I just love to dream, and this is one COOL dream!

Halfway Point

I've finished half of my assignments thus far! yay!

I was lost in a sea of books till around 1:30 at the library with Josh. Poor guy, he was just looking for a place to sleep and I had to drag him to the library for a few hours after the Bux closed. Oh well, I think he didn't care too much.

After a quick viewing of the Arsenal v. Manchester United game, I'll be jumping right back into the fray.

Until then though, I am quite entertained by Liz's constant hormonal rages at the computer she's using to study with. Apparently, "It's not doing what I want it to! I HATE PCs! ARRRGGG!" She then commences to grow mega-buff, green, and then smashes said computer to a million pieces, thus resolving her hatred of PCs.

Unfortunately, only in my imagination would these things happen.

This halfway point is like a small purgatory. I know that on the other end of this tunnel is graduation and a subsequent freedom involved. But, I also have to slave myself into thinking that writing a paper is fun! Geez, the back and forth of a Senior with a horrible case of senioritis!

Sloshing Through the Assignments

I've been getting knee deep into all of my final papers and projects.

- PowerPoint on Jewish views of Genocide/War
- paper on my ethical volunteering
- A Moveable Feast presentation
- The feminist reading of The Sun Also Rises
- The racial criticism of Toni Morrison

All of these things require tons of timing and a sound mind. I've been collecting research on all of these since 10pm last night. While I didn't think that I could push through any of these, they are now becoming more of an easy reality. Since 10am, I have collected tons of books from the library, along with finishing up the PowerPoint. Next stop before the kickers game is to write the paper on volunteering at the Richmond Peace Center, and maybe even start on A Moveable Feast.

It feels rewarding to finally cruise through my work. I needed the focus. Sounds a bit masochist of me, but I enjoy the calm feeling of writing for more than an hour. This is how I know that I want to further my education somehow. Right now it's Law School. Next year? I hope that dream still exists. Who knows though. My bud Rachel Reppert's father has 3 bachelors! That's a feat I would like to have also. I'm just glad to have experienced the whole school thing once in my life. I'm very fortunate, regardless of the exorbitant loans.

I'm rambling again. Time to go back to the books, and write. I know I can do this, I know I can.

Liz: You're going to do your paper extremely well. I know it! You always write superb papers!

Verse of the day for me:

"because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."
Ephesians 2:4 & 5

It's cool to know that it really is ONLY because of God's grace that I have been saved. Not because of anything I have done. I'm so thankful for that!

One True Sentence

I've been reading Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast partially for pleasure and part for class. That's the beauty of taking a Hemingway/Fitzgerald class; not only do you have to read the novels, but you also have a chance to enjoy them. Each English major has to present to his Seminar class a topic regarding their relative subject (either Hemingway or Fitzgerald).

I decided to talk about A Moveable Feast, because of its relation to the both of them. Sure, it was written by Hemingway. But it is a memoir about his time in the early 20's in Paris, France. In beautiful Paris, Hemingway became a close friend of F. Scott's (however, not so much of Zelda). Allow me to demonstrate:

-Zelda forever deemed Hemingway as "phony as a rubber check". It never really bothered him though, he kept on calling her a hindrance to Fitzgerald's writing and more than likely a closet lesbian.

-Zelda actually got pretty jealous of Scott's friendship with Hemingway. It became so heated that she once told Scott that his "manhood" was too small. Downhearted, he confided in Hemingway. Laughing, Hemingway took Fitzgerald to the Louvre, where they compared the individual statue's pieces to Fitzgerald's word on his size. Apparently, he doesn't have much to worry about.

But I'm not just presenting the story itself, but I'm rather talking about its accuracy. While it is very possible that most of these stories, it is hard to believe they happened they way they are told. Honestly, while Hemingway seems to be a cool guy, he did write these stories over 30 years after they happened. I'd like to know how he remembered them all.

Nonetheless, I learned one of the best hints on writing that I have ever received from this book. Hemingway writes that "All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know". This instruction has become a golden rule for me now. Whenever I sit to write something, I wait for that one true sentence that he talks about. The best place I have found to do this is at my Starbucks. I just linger, listening to the conversations and wait. Once someone says something that seems like an actual true sentence, I'll copy it down and then go from there.

My most recent one that I love is this:

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? I don't find it to be very smart."

Boom. And like that you have something going. The lines already have a life of its own, you just rearrange the furniture, paint the walls and you have a working short story. I love it. And I love Hemingway!

BTW: the man on the left of the picture is Hemingway. He's sitting with most of the people that influenced the characters of The Sun Also Rises.

New Beginnings

I believe in Divine Appointment with everything in me.

Divine Appointment (noun) def: a meeting appointed by God in order to benefit His children. To make a connection on the level of the Holy Spirit through a meeting that can only be explained through God.

(Yeah, I wrote that definition, but it looks pretty professional doesn't it?)

While these things seem to come few and far between for me, I believe that I had one of these Divine Appointments on Saturday. Working at the bux steaming tons and tons of sugar-free, nonfat lattes, I had a chance to talk to another barista from Parkside named Ryan. Obviously, this already throws everyone and their mom off, and even though I'm getting off track from my story, we both act the same in manner of speech and hobbies. We got to talking while I was making drinks, when he mentioned that he was from California. I got pretty excited and mentioned how Liz and I have been dying to go Redding California to worship at Bethel Church. (ok here's where it gets a bit hard to connect, but here we go):

Ryan G: You go to church?

me: Yeah, but the praise and worship is a bit stale. I love the pastors and they're rich in the spirit, but I need a good worship group.

RG: You believe in the gifts of the spirit.

Me: Yeah, I believe it's completely essential as a Christian

RG: You gotta come to my church tomorrow man, you'd love it.

After writing this long and complicated map, I received what really looked like a treasure map on how to reach the church. I gotta say, this church is a 25 minute drive. But wow, it was totally worth it.

When we got there, the floor was completely open for worship. I mean I had 20 feet in front of me to spread my arms wide for God. It was extremely refreshing and exciting to be a part of a church that had people my age in it. I have so much to say about how amazing the church is, but I gotta keep this short. After the service, Ryan invited us to he and his wife (Christa)'s place. When Liz and I arrived at Ryan's house, the place was full of love. Normally, I don't do well in groups where I don't know anyone. However, the place immediately felt open, warm, inviting. You could tell just from walking in that the house was full of LOVE.

Skip hilarious conversations, Ben & Jerry's, and OCD talks.

Yesterday, Ryan and I hung out again for the better part of the night. After praying and being open about our past lives and whatnot, we came upon the struggles of my relationship. I asked him to be my accountability partner. We prayed. I called Liz, and we met up with her back at my place.

After prayer and talking, Ryan really took the reins and became a strong friend and accountability partner. He emphasized the want for the both of us to succeed in our marriage and the necessity on exiting this season with grace and peace in order to walk into our future the same. Hence, Liz and I aren't spending the night together anymore. We want this to work and we want to be held accountable for our actions in a loving, God-centered environment. Ryan and Christa have become that answer. They've opened their hearts and home to us just to see us prosper.

These past few days have become a whirlwind of change for the both of us, and it was all because I mentioned how I wanted to go to California with Liz for our honeymoon. Because of one single conversation, Liz and I are able to retake our relationship into a spirit-filled environment & live in peace; guided by a Godly couple. I now it sounds a bit quick and odd, but it has been only through the power of the Holy Spirit that have I come to this point. Liz and I both asked God and He delivered His answer First Class Express. I'm so thankful for His love and the great friends and future that He provided.

It's the Card That Builds the Man

I've decided to start taking control of what is lain before me, while the whole Law school thing becomes a reality. So in the beginning, there was a prospective business card, and it was somewhat minimalist, but still good:


What do you think? Jenny told me to make it a red card, enlarge the birds and make the lettering/birds white. I think it'll really spice up the card and make it pop even more. The only thing that is definitely changing is the e-mail address; I now have the same e-mail, but in gmail form! I'm doing this for many reasons:

1) The first being that it's a ton easier for when I meet new people to immediately get connected with me without there being any hard, awkward "what was that guy's name again?"

2) Since bagging my first normal/regular writing column, I've decided that I can capitalize on the situation even more by telling my local church or independent newspapers that if they need some extra writing, I'm their man. The card makes me even more official.

3) It looks cool. I mean seriously, how many friends do you know that pulls out a business card and hands it to you in order to hang out the next day:

"Hey man, we should hang out soon!"

I flash out the card and hand him one.

"Yeah man no prob, just e-mail me and we can set something up." [End Scene].

It may sound elitist, but come on! This is a sweet idea!

4) [Bonus!!!] The actual main reason for this is for when I go into interviews (while mid law-school applications) for a cool new job. I'll seem more "professional". Here's to hoping that this works out the way I want it to...